Tattered capes

Dear Single Brave Mom,

I love you.  I looked up to you as you raised your children alone.  In heart wrenching honesty,  I never wanted to be you.  

I prayed for you.  I admired your strength and courage.  In my worst nightmares, I never dreamed of walking in your footsteps.

You were my hero, but I didn't want to wear your tattered cape.

I scribble tonight.  Pen on paper.  My heart spilling all over the place.  Trying to catch every drop with syllables.  

Brave moms, we talked together and prayed.  We barbecued in my backyard and our children played.  You held me as my heart ached and the tears refused to stop.  You took my hand as I began the same journey.  You were there.  Holding me up.  

We talk about heroes and legends in our society.  But you never stand in the spotlight.  Silently, day by day, you raise your children in a less than ideal world.  You pull the all nighters, every night.  You wipe little tears and hide your own.

Thank you.  Thank you for loving me when I had no idea what you walked through on a daily basis.  Thank you for forgiving my ignorance.  Thank you for opening your hearts and homes when I needed tears.  Thank you for being you in the midst of the ridiculous expectations hurled at you. every.  single.  day.  

Your strength encourages me.  I can.  

Your grit nudges me forward.  I can do this.  

Your hope infuses me.  I can do this with joy.

To all single brave moms, including my own that raised me seated in a wheelchair.  thank you.  Because of you, I can walk this road bravely with my head held high.  Tattered cape and all.

Tears of Splash

I sit here.  No words.

This place is where I have come to splash joy.  To share the goodness of my God.

From the mission field as a family, I began this journey.  Wading into this blog to give Him the glory.  Back home in the United States.  Fostering our little princesses.  Raising our little precious family.

Splashing His glory.  Proclaiming His goodness.

Tonight, I have to splash.  You see, sometimes life hits hard. But in the hard, bring to your knees times, I will stand and proclaim that He is good.

I don't understand.  I don't have to.

Maybe that is where the real joy comes from.  The real glory.  When your heart is shattered and you wake up with the unthinkable becoming your reality.  When your worst nightmare unfolds before your eyes.  To refuse to bow to the storm.  To refuse to let go of the promises God has given you.  To refuse to walk in anything but victory.

In the midst of it all, I choose to shout it loud.  My God is good.  He is faithful through all generations.  His love never fails.

I dip in this place again, not for you sweet reader.  But for me.  And maybe just maybe, tears can make splashes of their own.

Shards of Broken

My God is good.  No. Matter. What.

It's easy to believe when life glistens streaming brilliantly through the perfect window pane.  When the window pane smashes into thousands of shards and you stand in the midst of broken.  Will you still believe?  No. Matter. What.

Scooping up pieces of broken.  Feebly trying to put the pieces back together.  Slivered glass makes your fingers bleed.  When the situation completely shattered mocks you as you stand.  Will you still believe? No. Matter. What.

I whisper this to myself today as I kneel in the midst of broken.  Broken beyond what I could ever comprehend.   There is nothing I can do.  Nothing in my own strength.  When all you can cry out  "We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you" (2 Chron 20:12)   Will you still believe?  No. Matter. What.

Standing in the midst of broken.  Keeping your eyes on Him.  Setting down the broken shards and lifting your hands in praise.  Believing He is good. No. Matter. What.

My God, He's not in the window life smashing business.  And when you stand in the midst of the broken, He stands with you.  When you scoop up the glass shards and bleed because you try to put all the pieces back together on your own, He heals you.  When you have nothing left and the tears run dry, He strengthens you.  When you have no idea where to step, He leads you.  When you simply crumple, He holds you.

The thief comes to steal, kill, destroy, and shatter.  Jesus came to give us life, beautiful amazing, beyond what we could ever ask or imagine life.   Even in the midst of this broken.  I will believe.  My God is good.  No. Matter.  What.

Impossible Turned The Key

"Impossible is one of God's favorite words."  - Max Lucado

Sitting here staring at a chunk of of metal ... a key.  How can a simple chunk of metal bring such utter joy, tears of thankfulness and squeals of elation ... simple, insert God.


When God shares its time to buy, we trusted.  When our credit score came back at 0 (yes, you read that correctly)  we continued to trust.  Insert God.


When the housing market began to soar, houses falling off the listing page in less than 24 hours, multiple offers, investors swooping into our part of the world,  offers tens of thousands above asking price.  Insert God.


Finding a beyond amazing home.  Breathe.  Putting in an offer in faith, before even stepping foot inside.  A yard for baseball dreams.  A home with extra rooms for butterfly gardens.  Every little touch I had dreamed but never asked out loud.  Insert God.


A simple offer to get our foot in the door, waiting to play the bid and bid again game.  More than ten showings in a single day.  Countless offers, many beyond ours, all cash.  Insert God.


Advisors telling us it could be a long wait, six to nine months to hear a final word.  Countless hoops to jump.  Doors needing to open at exact times.  Insert God.


Two months from our offer to the key.  Our family is singing a melody of perfect grace.


For those who have ever heard the word impossible mumbled over a dream.  For those of you stuck anywhere in anything.  For anyone with a dream, unrealized as of tonight.  For hearts burdened and longing for something more.  For friends who face a wall of impossibility.   Remember the key.  Insert God.

Delighted to Meet You!

Simply Sarah

Readers come. They splash. To be open, real, vulnerable. Life laid bare for people to wade through unseen in this land of blog. This place, my story, only a puddle. But if someone accidentally steps in, joy splashing on their boots, and walks away carrying the footprints ... then this place has served a purpose of glory, step by step ...

When I started to type instead of simply pen, a momma on the mission field, I never quite envisioned what might happen. I've been joyfully splashing ever since. New friends, it is a joy to meet you. But who am I? Who is the woman sitting in front of this computer screen, sharing her life, lessons learned?

Me in a nutshell ... think yummy cashew.

Spontaneous princess, learning to be all that God made me to be and all that my prince hubby deserves. A pillar (wobbly at times) to uplift and encourage as he pours into the nations. A model of God's love in my family armed with hugs, tickle wrestling and nose nuzzles.

Crazy and passionate warrior princess. Jeans and t-shirt gal that speaks God's Word and radically believes everything that it says. Think polka dot storm trooper armed with a serious weapon.

Arrow sharpener for the nations. Completely sold out on reaching an entire generation for Jesus. If you sit with me, you'll catch my fire passion to equip children today to reach the nations. Lived it, Seen it, Believe it, Teaching it.

Encourage wildly. Hug, Praise loud. Forgive even louder. Dance crazy. Choose joy. Blow bubble snakes. Snuggle. Ooze grace. Smell like cantaloupe. Simply Sarah.

And now my friends, would you take a moment, in the rush, in the mayhem of busy schedules and time ticking away, to introduce yourself to me. In the busy of life, I have come to realize, relationships dwindle and wither. To stop the blur of life whizzed by, to cultivate relationship, even here in this puddle of grace.

A name, a note, a tidbit of your life tucked into the comments. And across this unseen land of blog I can offer a hug (because in real flesh life, that is exactly what I would do)

Of Celebration and Things to Come

Bright eyes, early morning. Rubbing sleep away, joy overtakes my thoughts. It seems like just yesterday, we stepped out in faith. Once more, letting God lead us to a new place. From the mission field back to our home country.

Simple faith to lay down our dreams for His. To trust that as always He would be our Jehovah Jireh and His provisions would be seen. To step out of the boat onto the crashing waves as He called us to come home.

Tears well up in these sleepy eyes. Tears of joy for all our God has done in us. Leading us into a time of refreshment, rest, and rejuvenation. Of strengthening and showering us with His love and blessings.

We came back to change the world. Our passion for reaching the lost and teaching the truth of His love and grace only grows stronger. Our God, faithful always.

Be encouraged today. Wherever you are as you follow your dreams for your life, trust in Him. We have forever been ruined for the ordinary and look forward to the extraordinary days ahead.

But Sarah

"But David strengthened himself in the Lord his God."

- 1 Samuel 30:6

But David.

Amidst all that David faced that day, the loss of his wives and children, a camp raided with the smell of smoke lingering, a weary army crying out all of their strength, his people discussing the art of stoning him .... He chose a different road.

But David.

He looked past the burning circumstances, dreams gone up in smoke. He chose to listen to God's voice over those clamoring to kill him. His heart beating with pain for his own loss, he turned to the Lord to find strength.

But David.

He sought the Lord. He heard His plan for their lives. He went out in the Lord's strength, overtook the enemy, gained the victory, took back what was stolen, and then some.

Will there be a But Sarah ...

The story of my life, written on the lives of those I have touched. A woman known for standing her ground refusing to budge from the promises of God. A mommy who relies on God's strength regardless of the circumstances around her. A wife who supports and encourages her husband to reach the dreams God has placed in him. A friend who loves lavishly with God's love that never fails.

But (and enter your name). What do you want to be known for in this life? Would you share with us friends. Let's splash each other with all of the potential God has placed in our lives. Dare to believe it. Dare to live it. Dare to trust that with God all things are possible.

New Season

A new season. Surrendering everything to know Him.

Stepping out of full time ministry.

Years on the mission field took a toll on our family.

Focusing, rebuilding, seeing a God size change.

My marriage. My boys. My me. Lovingly transformed.

Growing closer. Rekindling love.

Walking along the path of restoration.

Swimming in His liquid love. Learning to breathe it in.

Not because of what I do, simply because I am His.

Laying it down, 12 years of creating this life of ministry.

Resting in Abba's best for our family.

Dancing in abundant love. Seeking Him with all.

Reveal. Rejoice. Restore.

We never envisioned this happening on our returning to the US, but we are so thankful that God saw a true desire in our hearts to know Him with everything that we are. He truly is refining us, that we may know Him more intimately and reflect Him more accurately.

Thank you for your prayers, encouragement and love as we served in missions as a family. Thank you also for rejoicing with us in this new season. God is doing a beautiful work in our family.

“But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the spirit of the Lord.” -2Corinthians 3:18

This is my story, being scripted on the pages of my life. How is God's love transforming yours?

Besitos from Costa Rica

Sleepy eyes, joyful expectations, teardrops mingle together as I sit here tonight.

Words could never capture the essence of our time on the mission field. To confine my heart tonight, shackling it within the bars of syllables, impossible. Costa Rica, run free in my memories and in my dreams of eternity.

We captured our ministry a year ago, never envisioning that these pictures would usher us into a new realm of radical obedience and surrender. I share them today, as a living testimony to our Lord. A wave of gratitude washing over my memories, for all who believed that our family could impact the nations for Christ. And it's just the beginning.

As dawn kisses our day, our new mission field will appear on the horizon.

"I tell you, open your eyes and look at the fields! They are ripe for harvest. "

- John 4:35

Too Much and Not Enough

"May God Himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. The one who calls you is faithful and he will do it."

- 1 Thess 5:23-24

Past failures scream, mocking my today. Sarah, you are too much, too much work, too much emotion, too much for anyone.

The fiery darts singe my soul.

You are not enough, not good enough, not pretty enough, not enough for anyone.

In my confusion and pain, where can I turn? The lies hid my heart from everyone. I close my eyes, silence my thoughts, and cry out from my being. With a childlike hesitancy, I ask my Abba Father, crawling in His arms "Am I enough for you?"

I cringe expecting the worst, the lie is deep. With soothing words of healing oil, my Abba pours his love into my heart, dripping of my true value and worth. Tears of joy wash away the pain streaks on the window of my life.

He doesn't stop there. He has some roots to remove. Holding my hand and my heart, He leads me to where the seeds were planted and where I first believed them. In that fateful moment, He spoke His words of truth, dispelling the lie.

He delights in me. On the day I was born, He rejoiced over me, singing His song of love and He has never stopped. I am His Sarah Dawn. I am never too much. I am just enough.

Since that day, I am free. The lie is gone. The voice of truth has spoken over my life. I will choose to listen and believe. I can hear the sweet melody as He sings even now.

Pieces of My Heart

"Blessed are those whose strength is in you, who have set their hearts on pilgrimage .... They go from strength to strength, til each appears before God in Zion." - Psalm 84

My heart is set on pilgrimage. I have given my heart to Him and He is leading. Everywhere we serve I feel the heartbeat of heaven, and I leave a piece of my mine.

In an indigenous village of huts and mud, with giggles and bubbles the Embera children captured a piece of my heart. Our children splashed in the river, ran barefoot on the rocks, slept on the wooden hut floors, shared life and the cultural differences melted away.

On the dusty windswept paths of Kenya, an AIDS orphan named Peter grabbed another piece. God used his life to change mine. We couldn't bring him home, but he opened our hearts to adoption.

Walking through the filth and trash, sharing God's love in the dumps of Honduras the joy of the children, despite the horrendous conditions captivated yet another piece. The hope of Christ shines brightly in her eyes, the only hope for this life that takes a child from the muck and reveals the jewel hidden inside.

The Ngobe, considered the forgotten of Panama snuck a piece while I wasn't looking. We continue to go back and share the hope of Jesus with these precious people, even while living in a different country. Their culture, their joy, the preciousness of the children, simply scream of a Creator passionate to reach His children.

I willingly gave a piece to the abandoned and unadoptable orphans in Thailand. Considered the refuse of the country to many, these precious children worship their Abba Daddy with pure joy and childlike faith. What the enemy meant to destroy them, God used to bring them into a relationship with Him. The orphans, part of the small percentage in Thailand that truly know their Father.

My heart continues to be given away, in life, in love, in joy, to the children of Costa Rica. They bless me more than anyone can imagine.

Yes, my heart belongs to the children of the world. I have set my heart on pilgrimage. When I reach my final destination on this beautiful path of faith, may I blow bubbles, giggle, and rejoice with all of them before God in Zion.

Tend My Garden

"Do not stare at me because I am dark, because I am darkened by the sun.

My mother’s sons were angry with me and made me take care of the

vineyards; my own vineyard I have neglected."

-Song of Solomon 1:6

A night of worship and true revelation awaited me. You spoke into my life through a precious youth.

As she shared, Your words came directly from Your throne to my heart. The picture of the Song

of Solomon maiden came to mind. I am that maiden.

You are calling me to tend my garden. Then, my missing journal, a piece of my soul drove me

to seach, alone. Alone with just you is where you long for me. Speaking words of love, you revealed

the neglect in our garden.

I have placed more value in giving, cultivating and planting in others' gardens while mine lies dormant

and neglected. You invited me to tend my garden again. Cultivate and prune my children, the delicate

sprouting seedlings. Nurture and uphold my husband, the oak of righteousness. Water and weed the

delicate flowers of talents You planted in my life.

In our garden, it is a time for weeding. Weeding out the selfishness, the me cries from my heart.

Weeding out the plans I have that crowd your perfect plans for our life. Weeding out the small

idols that are threatening to overtake the seeds you planted.

In our garden, it is a time for pruning. Cutting away any dead and decaying part of my life that

hinders me from producing fruit.

In our garden, it is a time for cultivating. Enriching the soil of my heart as I soak more in You.

Preparing my heart for the dream seeds you desire to grow and flourish. Cultivating intimacy with You

where we can just linger together, in our garden.

My heart's desire has changed. May my garden emit a holy fragrance, an aroma pleasing to you. And

may I learn from the Master Gardener himself.

(the journal entry 10/08 that kindled a love for His garden in my life)

Questioning

"The Lord is good, for His mercy, tender kindness and steadfast love endure forever." -Jeremiah 33:11

His goodness never changes. It cannot be revoked, even in the midst of questioning.

This week, I questioned. I cried. I ran into His arms and ran away. At the center of the tornado, amidst the swirling emotions, a deep question. Is my God always good?

Always good to me? Always good as He leads our family on the mission field? Always good as I question? Always good .... always?

My life, the proof this week, that yes, He is always good. Despite my tantrum and torrent of emotions, He covered me with mercy and understanding. The harsh ramblings of my fear he tenderly covered with His kindness. As I pulled away with frustration, He gathered me in His arms wrapping me in His steadfast love.

Yes, my Lord is good even when I am far from it. His goodness surpasses everything I can imagine and wraps me tightly in His grace. He is good even when I question, when I cry out to Him, when I take my frustrations and concerns to His throne. He is my Abba Daddy. He holds me when I cry. He forgives me when I doubt. He calls me His Sarah Dawn and I can rest in His goodness, for it endures forever and always.

Dig Them Up!

God entrusts His children with priceless treasure. He lovingly deposits each bit of glistening gold in our lives. As the gold glitters and shines, the treasure reflects His glory. We've been given a gift and yet so many times we bury it, in fear, in worry, in unbelief, in circumstances.

This heavenly treasure, the talents and giftings God has uniquely designed and placed in us.

I am in the process of digging, asking the Lord to uncover the talents I have buried. He desires all of our giftings to be used for His glory. To sparkle and shine in a dark world.

Every gift, yes every gift. A fellow YWAM missionary worked in a bakery for years. He uses his talent to bake fresh bread to share with the homeless at night. Can you see the glimmer?

A full time homeschooling mom of 8 uses her creative skills to design blogs for a donation to an adoption fund to bring more children home. She sparkles for her King.

As a missionary mommy, a talent for ministry in my home is emerging. We're bringing home 2 little ones from Ethiopia to reflect His grace.

I wonder, how many talents still lie buried in my heart. It's time to start diggin! This blog is a shovel in my life, digging up a love of writing that I buried in insecurities.

Dear friends, this world needs your precious treasure. Share all of your talents, invest them in His kingdom and earn eternal dividends. And don't worry if you have some digging to do. Getting a little dirty is worth it for His glory!