Shards of Broken

My God is good.  No. Matter. What.

It's easy to believe when life glistens streaming brilliantly through the perfect window pane.  When the window pane smashes into thousands of shards and you stand in the midst of broken.  Will you still believe?  No. Matter. What.

Scooping up pieces of broken.  Feebly trying to put the pieces back together.  Slivered glass makes your fingers bleed.  When the situation completely shattered mocks you as you stand.  Will you still believe? No. Matter. What.

I whisper this to myself today as I kneel in the midst of broken.  Broken beyond what I could ever comprehend.   There is nothing I can do.  Nothing in my own strength.  When all you can cry out  "We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you" (2 Chron 20:12)   Will you still believe?  No. Matter. What.

Standing in the midst of broken.  Keeping your eyes on Him.  Setting down the broken shards and lifting your hands in praise.  Believing He is good. No. Matter. What.

My God, He's not in the window life smashing business.  And when you stand in the midst of the broken, He stands with you.  When you scoop up the glass shards and bleed because you try to put all the pieces back together on your own, He heals you.  When you have nothing left and the tears run dry, He strengthens you.  When you have no idea where to step, He leads you.  When you simply crumple, He holds you.

The thief comes to steal, kill, destroy, and shatter.  Jesus came to give us life, beautiful amazing, beyond what we could ever ask or imagine life.   Even in the midst of this broken.  I will believe.  My God is good.  No. Matter.  What.

The New 'To Do'

I've scratched my old to do lists.  They plum weren't working for me.   The search of perfection in home, in family, in life, wearing this momma out.  stealing the joy in our home.

In all my list making attempts, of the mind and on the paper, my priorities jumbled up and fell off the page.

When the simple is overlooked, life mixes up.  Smiles tend to fade.  Tasks smother joy.  Anxiety creeps in.  Mommas wither and wilt.

This week, I grabbed my eraser and went after the chalkboard covered lists in my life.  

With new chalk and resolve, I copied

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.  The second is this:  'Love your neighbor as yourself.'  There is no commandment greater than these." - Mark 12: 30-31

Smack dab in the word, it hit me.  Something I had missed countless times before.  The little word as.

To love everyone else, I have to love myself first.  I can only love them AS much as I love myself.  Its kinda hard to love my neighbor as myself when there's a drought in my love tank.  

Wresting a porcupine is easier than truly loving my family when I struggle to love who I am.  Ouch.   But true.  Too true.   So, this momma is making a new list.  A new 'to do'.  Relearning to take care of myself, to love myself.  Amazingly, the love spills much easier onto others when I do.

Love God.  Love myself.  Love everyone else.    The new 'to-do' around here.

Kinda loving our momma notes.  Wanna join us? Slip your fave recipe, notes of encouragement, birthday pics, all things gloriously mom, into the link up.  Just moms.  Sharing our notes.  Creating a melody.   

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On Daddy's Toes

I see His feet.

I hear the sweet music captivating me.

I long to dance with my King.

In dismay, I hang my head.

I'm afraid I don't know how.

The steps, the rhythm, letting Him lead, only blurs of hope.

In majestic gentleness, He lifts my chin.

My eyes focus on his face, His love,

His words change my life.

'Stand on my feet, my daughter, and we will dance.

I will teach you the steps as you learn to trust me.'

Holding me close, I step on nail scarred feet.

The dance begins.

With each step, more freedom, lavish love, surrendered trust.

My life's dance, standing on my Daddy's feet.

Today, I am learning the rhythm and the song He sings over my life.

As I stand on His feet.

It doesn't matter where we are, the steps we may have forgotten or never knew.

The dance can begin today. 

He is waiting to dance with all of us. Step by step, 

He is teaching me, again. To trust. To let Him lead. To hear the heartbeat of heaven and dance along.

This is a splash from the past,  one I needed to read again today.  To be reminded of the song my Abba sings over my life as we dance together, step by step.  His little girl standing on Daddy's toes.

PlayDoh Discipleship

oozing love and splattering joy as hands shape globs of colors into creations  

Our foster experience has been one of the most adventurous journeys we have yet to experience as a family.  Learning to love unconditionally, both children and hurting biological parents, living out the gospel in our home, opening every aspect of our lives to be somehow used for His glory ... amazing training.

Honest here, this is hard.  We have loved on kids for years, all over the world, in some crazy hard places.  On the mission field, inner city classrooms, AIDS orphanages, churches, tribal village huts ...  Kids = my passion.  

We have always believed that family is the most radical form of discipleship. Now we have the opportunity to live it.   Each and every day, we see little lives being shaped by His love.  Bumps smoothed out, in their lives and mine.

Like play doh.  Playdoh discipleship.

Hats Off, Hats On

Never quite been a fan of hats.  Some cuties, like this little hat happy boy, make hats look good.  Honestly, they look a bit goofy on me.  Yet, I wear them.

A floppy one to protect against the desert sun.  A black and yellow to cheer on my baseball boys as they run the bases.  A momma hat.  A wife hat.  A homeschool Chemphysology Spanish teacher hat.  A foster parent hat.  A tattered and dreary hat to remind me of my past.  A perfection splattered hat that I choose to wear.   Lots and lots of hats.

A friend, handed me a book yesterday.  One all about hats, written for children.  Crazy how a child's book sometimes holds the deepest truths.  A Hat for Ivan by Max Lucado helped me to plum take off some hats and make sure I was only wearing the right one.

Jump into the pages with me today ...

I'm the hat-maker Ivan.  I have seen what happens when people wear hats that weren't intended to wear.  They feel silly.  They fall down.  And they get tired.  ...

Listen, son, just because someone gives you a hat, that doesn't mean you are supposed to wear it.  They mean well, but they don't know you.  That's my job.  I'm the hat maker, and I'm your father.

"So, you'll make a hat just for me?"

"I will.  All you have to do is ask."

I'm hat happy this morning.  Happy that my God knows the perfect hat for me to wear.  Happy that I can simply choose not to wear the perfection and tattered hats in my closet.  Happy that my hat is filled with what I really love to do.  Happy that my God will make a hat for me, that fits all of my desires, gifts, talents & joys.  Happy that my hat rack emptied just a bit this morning.

To Capture a Rose

My first feeble attempts ... opening of a rose, opening of oneself

I learned of the gift before the day ever arrived. Panic crept in my heart. Fear has a way of choking love right out of a moment. I asked, begged, pleaded, for him to return to the store. Return his lavish gift of love. Deep down, I felt unworthy.

A rose on the bud, refusing to blossom.

Tears came. He held me and held strong amidst the torrent of my emotions. Straight into my eyes, I saw his desire to give his best and feed my dreams.

A rose in need of rain, to wash away the mundane, the dirt clinging to the beauty within.

I turned away. Took my case to a higher authority, my Abba. He knows the foolishness of such a wasted expense. He would understand, turn my loves heart back down the right path of wisdom and frugality. He would change the decision. He decided instead to change me.

A rose who preferred the thorns to the beauty all around.

The sweet gentle whisper of His Word. The same words I bathe in daily, soaking in deep.

"A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies." - Proverbs 31:1

A rose whose soil had been sown with the nutrients, soaking in deep and impacting the bloom.

I closed my mouth. Surrendered the fight. When the day arrived, I opened the package. I had not known the contents, only the monetary value. The tears came, accepting the love and joy that came with the gift. A gift to a wife of value. A gift to spur her need to create and capture the every day.

A rose captured with my gift.

New Season

A new season. Surrendering everything to know Him.

Stepping out of full time ministry.

Years on the mission field took a toll on our family.

Focusing, rebuilding, seeing a God size change.

My marriage. My boys. My me. Lovingly transformed.

Growing closer. Rekindling love.

Walking along the path of restoration.

Swimming in His liquid love. Learning to breathe it in.

Not because of what I do, simply because I am His.

Laying it down, 12 years of creating this life of ministry.

Resting in Abba's best for our family.

Dancing in abundant love. Seeking Him with all.

Reveal. Rejoice. Restore.

We never envisioned this happening on our returning to the US, but we are so thankful that God saw a true desire in our hearts to know Him with everything that we are. He truly is refining us, that we may know Him more intimately and reflect Him more accurately.

Thank you for your prayers, encouragement and love as we served in missions as a family. Thank you also for rejoicing with us in this new season. God is doing a beautiful work in our family.

“But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the spirit of the Lord.” -2Corinthians 3:18

This is my story, being scripted on the pages of my life. How is God's love transforming yours?

Daddy's Love Song

"And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge - that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." - Ephesians 3:17-19

Today, being drenched in God's love.

His love casts away all fear, control, pride and the list goes on.

So many of my weaknesses sprout from not trusting His love.

To soak in His love poetry, over my life.

His Words mingling with mine to create a song that the enemy will never drown out.

Literally, each day, I listen to a love cd filled with words of His love over me. My precious boys ask to fall asleep to it each night as God's Word wraps their slumber in His loving embrace. I cannot keep it to myself. My life is changing. So simple, so profound, so real, so my Abba Daddy. My cd begins with The Father's Love Letter, listen with me today. Allow His words to wash you in His love. You can even download a cd quality version for free as well.

May we be drenched in His love!

My Child,

You may not know me,

but I know everything about you. Psalm 139:1

I know when you sit down and when you rise up. Psalm 139:2

I am familiar with all your ways. Psalm 139:3

Even the very hairs on your head are numbered. Matthew 10:29-31

For you were made in my image. Genesis 1:27

In me you live and move and have your being.Acts 17:28

For you are my offspring. Acts 17:28

I knew you even before you were conceived. Jeremiah 1:4-5

I chose you when I planned creation. Ephesians 1:11-12

You were not a mistake, for all your days are written in my book. Psalm 139:15-16

I determined the exact time of your birth and where you would live. Acts 17:26

You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Psalm 139:14

I knit you together in your mother's womb. Psalm 139:13

And brought you forth on the day you were born. Psalm 71:6

I have been misrepresented by those who don't know me.John 8:41-44

I am not distant and angry, but am the complete expression of love. 1 John 4:16

And it is my desire to lavish my love on you. 1 John 3:1

Simply because you are my child and I am your Father. 1 John 3:1

I offer you more than your earthly father ever could. Matthew 7:11

For I am the perfect father. Matthew 5:48

Every good gift that you receive comes from my hand. James 1:17

For I am your provider and I meet all your needs. Matthew 6:31-33

My plan for your future has always been filled with hope. Jeremiah 29:11

Because I love you with an everlasting love. Jeremiah 31:3

My thoughts toward you are countless as the sand on the seashore.Psalms 139:17-18

And I rejoice over you with singing. Zephaniah 3:17

I will never stop doing good to you. Jeremiah 32:40

For you are my treasured possession. Exodus 19:5

I desire to establish you with all my heart and all my soul. Jeremiah 32:41

And I want to show you great and marvelous things. Jeremiah 33:3

If you seek me with all your heart, you will find me. Deuteronomy 4:29

Delight in me and I will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4

For it is I who gave you those desires. Philippians 2:13

I am able to do more for you than you could possibly imagine. Ephesians 3:20

For I am your greatest encourager. 2 Thessalonians 2:16-17

I am also the Father who comforts you in all your troubles. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

When you are brokenhearted, I am close to you. Psalm 34:18

As a shepherd carries a lamb, I have carried you close to my heart. Isaiah 40:11

One day I will wipe away every tear from your eyes. Revelation 21:3-4

And I'll take away all the pain you have suffered on this earth.Revelation 21:3-4

I am your Father, and I love you even as I love my son, Jesus.John 17:23

For in Jesus, my love for you is revealed. John 17:26

He is the exact representation of my being. Hebrews 1:3

He came to demonstrate that I am for you, not against you. Romans 8:31

And to tell you that I am not counting your sins.2 Corinthians 5:18-19

Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled. 2 Corinthians 5:18-19

His death was the ultimate expression of my love for you. 1 John 4:10

I gave up everything I lovedthat I might gain your love. Romans 8:31-32

If you receive the gift of my son Jesus, you receive me. 1 John 2:23

And nothing will ever separate you from my love again.Romans 8:38-39

Come home and I'll throw the biggest party heaven has ever seen.Luke 15:7

I have always been Father, and will always be Father.Ephesians 3:14-15

My question is…Will you be my child? John 1:12-13

I am waiting for you. Luke 15:11-32

Love, Your Dad

Almighty God

On His Toes

I see His feet.

I hear the sweet music captivating me.

I long to dance with my King.

In shame, I hang my head.

I'm afraid I don't know how.

The steps, the rhythm, letting Him lead, only blurs of hope.

In majestic gentleness, He lifts my chin.

I cannot focus on His face, not yet,

His words change my life.

'Stand on my feet, my daughter, and we will dance.

I will teach you the steps as you learn to trust me.'

Holding me close, I step on nail scarred feet.

The dance begins.

With each step, more freedom, lavish love, surrendered trust.

My life's dance, standing on my King's feet.

Today, I am learning the rhythm and the song He sings over my life.

As I stand on His feet.

It doesn't matter where we are, the steps we may have forgotten or never knew.

The dance can begin today. For you sweet friends, for me. Do you have a relationship with your Creator, the intimacy, where you can hear the song of heaven? He is waiting to dance with all of us. Step by step, He is teaching me. To trust. To let Him lead. To hear the heartbeat of heaven and dance along.

Liquid Love

Content to behold just your shadow, I lived.

Breathing in toxic fumes of fear and judgement.

Veils of religion, false humility, victimization masking my heart.

Shrowded in darkness, yet created to live in your light.

Revealing the source, the lies of my enemy, I chose to embrace.

Pain lasting only a moment, erased by your lavish grace

Finally allowed access beyond walls built by slavery.

Your truth. You are truth,

Jesus erased the lies with scarred hands.

Only a crimson stain remains.

Enveloped in His love.

To breathe. Liquid love seeping into my heart, mind, soul, spirit, my me.

Peace. Freedom. Quiet. Only His voice speaking over me.

Life.

God loves me! This life changing truth seeps into my heart, my me, Sara. He loves me not because of how I can serve Him, but because of who I am. His daughter. His love covers everything in my life, setting me free from shackles and chains meant to destroy His beauty. His love, the power behind my faith. His love, contained in every syllable He spoke through His Word. His love, I'm splashing in it, drenching my spirit, heart, and mind in the Truth of His love. Anyone care to jump in and splash with me?

Heartbeat of Heaven

I've heard it said that we can hear the heartbeat of heaven. To know His plans. To rise up above the warring level of prayer into His glory.

When we hear His plans, our prayers change. Our intercession takes a tone of authority as we simply partner with Him and speak His plan of victory.

My heart longs to be close enough to hear His heartbeat. But is it really possible?

I am honestly asking, and my Abba is lovingly answering. In a precious moment of still peace, a gift of Isaiah 40:11 filled my mind.

"He tends his flocks like a shepherd; He gathers the lambs close to his heart."

My good shepherd carries His lambs. Wrapping his arms around them, He pulls them close to his chest. They can rest in His arms ... and hear His heartbeat.

Lord, create in me the simplicity of a lamb, innocent, trusting, able to be carried in your arms, hearing the heartbeat of heaven.