My Chalkboard Covered Life

I have gone a bit crazy.  Crazy in a gloriously good way.  Crazy for chalkboard paint.

Our dining room table, my first victim.  Slathered the top in chalking goodness.  Now at meals, we sit together, eat and create.   My youngest boy learned to write his name in cursive, from daddy, at our table, literally on our table.

The inside of my kitchen cabinets ... looking a little dull, I remedied.    They now proclaim our daily food body and spirit via menu and verse.  They also hide encouragement and hugs in words and pictures for anyone reaching for a glass but thirsty for more.

My momma command center, my joy jar, hanging signs all around the house ... they all have succumbed to my paintbrush happy.  Because life changes.  We need to be able to erase, at least I do.

Wouldn't the world be wonderful slathered up in chalkboard paint?  Mistakes, no problem.  Erase and start over.   My life, the same.

Holding my dripping brush ready to paint, it hit me.  My life, truly chalkboard covered.  My mistakes, my oopses, the really ick that happened in yesterday, easily erased by wild forgiveness and lavish grace.  Yep, slather me up God.

And paint a sign ...

"Anyone who believes in Christ is a new creation.  The old is gone!  The new has come!"  - 2 Corinthians 5:17

... in chalkboard paint of course!

Shattered Chains

She steps into the courtyard, dappled with sunshine. A hint of music lingers in the air, enticing her feet to worship and dance. For the first time, in the brilliance of the day's light, truth streams down and she notices the chains.

Her royal garment, hand woven, fitted to her frame, marred by the rusted metal clinging around her. How could she have missed them. She has carried them for what seems an eternity. They simply became a part of her, a part she was never intended to carry.

Softly coming, steps towards her. The chains revealed in the light, scream at her to hide. He will never love you with these. Run away. Straight into the depth of the ravage forest where you can hide the chains from sight. Her mind gives way to fear and she looks for an escape.

The sound of His love pouring over her calls her back. Standing at the gateway, a reminder of the past she so desperately wants to leave behind. Washed in His love, she turns face to face. With no words left, she hangs her head as shame overtakes. He lifts her chin, gazing into His eyes all pain, regret, shame dissipate into His love.

Surrendering the chains to Abba, they simply shatter in the radiance of His glory.

"If you abide in My word, you are My disciples indeed. And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free." - John 8:31-32

On His Toes

The journey continues as she hears the melody linger in the air, delighting her senses, captivating her soul. She picks up pen and captures the moment in syllables of heart.

To see His feet.

hear the sweet music captivating all

longing to dance with my King.

In shame, head hangs low.

I'm afraid I don't know how.

The steps, the rhythm, letting Him lead, only blurs of hope.

In majestic gentleness, my chin lifts

I cannot focus on His face, not yet,

Avert my eyes, hear His voice

His words forever change my me.

'Stand on my feet, my daughter, and we will dance.

I will teach you the steps as you learn to trust me.'

Holding close, I step on nail scarred feet.

The dance begins.

With each step, more freedom, lavish love, surrendered trust.

The powerful melody touches deep down. She steps on toes strong enough to always hold hers. The song of her life to the tune of His heart, for she can hear His this close. The heartbeat of heaven intertwining with her notes of life. And the dance continues because the music will never cease.

Shadow Stomping

With each step, her journey to Jesus continues. No longer crouching, hidden in darkness, decisions await. Engage the light or live in the shadows?

Our past taunts us. Standing in the way of path ahead. Skewing the light and distorting into shadows of regrets, if onlys, shame. Intriguing, as shadows loom larger than life, clinging to us in full sun. No one notices shadows in utter darkness.

Standing near gate, she pauses. The freedom of childhood flits in through a memory. We all remember the game of shadow stomping. Childhood innocence, living, free to make mistakes.

Her eyes accustomed more each day to the brilliance of light. Her feet begin to stomp. Renouncing the shadows in her life, rejoicing in the light that reveals them.

"For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light." - Ephesians 5:8

And do a little shadow stomping.

Twirling

A little girl twirls in a sparkly dress. Twirling to delight her daddy.

His gaze dances in her eyes and giggles her down to her pink toes.

As she grows, darkness of the world creeps in, crowding the air.

Eventually overtakes her, snuffing her twirling freedom.

In the haze, her eyes no longer reflect Daddy's gaze.

She becomes accustomed to the darkness.

She was created to twirl in the light.

Will she forever crouch in the stifling shadows?

Has she forgotten how to twirl?

A crack of light streams in, she opens the book.

Daddy's promise shines brightly.

Standing, she begins to twirl again as His glory spins the darkness away.

"Arise, shine; For your light has come! And the glory of the Lord is risen upon you. For behold, the darkness shall cover the earth, and deep darkness the people. But the Lord will arise over you. And His glory will be seen upon you." - Isaiah 60:1-2

Anyone else feel like twirling with me today?

Under the Table

"But even the dogs under the table eat the children's crumbs" - Mark 7:28

Hungry for anything ... just a crumb will suffice.

Feeling unworthy. Afraid. The eyes of others scrutinize in her mind.

Dressed in tattered rags next to princely fabrics of extravagant gifts and talents.

She cannot compare.

No longer wanting to sit at His table. She just wants her King.

Broken and humbled, she slips under.

A dog, desiring simple crumbs.

The majestic wood hides her from their eyes searching mine.

The King whispers to her heart and joy trickles in her soul.

Crawling past fancy shoes and well worn feet fitted with the gospel of peace.

I reach feet adorned with scars of nail.

Kissing, washing with grateful tears.

All of my affections placed in a bottle,

to break at His feet.

Under the table, clutching just His feet.

Eyes closed tight, the unimaginable happens.

My King slips from His royal chair.

Leaving His rightful place of honor,

He crawls under the table.

Just to be with me.

For days I linger in this place.

Wrapped in His love, and in my unworthy state of heart

Prayers, tears, pain exposed, freedom released.

He beckons me to come out.

Glancing down my tattered rags replaced

Royal garments spun in blood red forgiveness

A place at the wedding feast, set for me, His princess.

Escorted, I am free to take my place

To reign in His kingdom with my King.

A journey of letting go of the past, the dog like feelings lurking in our hearts, learning to reign as children of the king. An astounding hold your breath in anticipation journey. Do you ever think can it get any better? I cannot possibly be the only one completely in awe of where I have come from and the path that awaits my every step. Delight, giddiness, reality of the kingdom seeping into me. A journey.

Journey

"Thou hast only to follow the wall far enough and there will be a door in it." - M. De Angeli

Groping in the darkness, she became accustomed to walking by fingertips. The rough texture of the bark, the mossy coolness padding her fingers, the constant searching for her way in the dense forest. On her journey, never alone. Wildness creeped into the night, sounds of unknown enemies stealing her peace. Fear warped her thoughts, fingers of darkness and doubts spreading thin over her heart, squeezing, suffocating faith. Day and night blurred together in a mix of anxiety and worry. The spiraling trees blocking sun lit paths. Only bursts of light dancing down to the dim forest floor brought sparks of joy in her path.

Searching, always searching. Dainty eyes adjusted to the darkness, meant for the light. Still she trudged on. Through the murky swamps, stale dampness clinging to her tattered garments. Bare feet weary from the harsh rocks and reaching roots that jeered and taunted her every stumble. Pressing on. In her depths, she knew something was worth searching. She could never have been meant to live like this.

Darkness surrounding, depression taunting her breath, worn hands grope for direction. Touch of stone jars her senses, hope trinkles and lights her countenance. The wall. Shelter from the ravage forest. Steps lighten following the wall over fallen logs and roots of deception. As she knew, deep in heart, the wall leads to a door. Knock, seek, find. One step changes her life and begins the journey. Sheer exhaustion catapults her to the corner, hugging the safety of the stone she drifts into slumber. Content for the moment to simply be inside, the story. A story of redemptive beauty unfolding step by step. Her story continues ...

Finally Words

After months of chrysalis, I have the chain shattering words to reveal all that has been taking wing in my life.

Serving on the mission field for 5 years as a young family, we loved Jesus with all of our heart. We saw missions as the best way to serve Him. We were seeking Jesus but couldn't find him to the depths our hearts longed for. We both knew something was missing, words never uttered, but deep down, knowng.

Searching, we voraciously devoured every book, new teachings, attended conferences. God knew our hungry hearts. He called us out of a nation to another, back home. A way of life that defined us, surrendered to know Him.

Delivered to the doorstep of a just Jesus focussed ministry. Not just a teaching to tell us how to do it, a breathing vessel to show us step by step, hand in hand. Shifting our gaze, washing our minds in the Word, being willing to do what Jesus said to do.

At first, I cringed and fought. I knew life as a caterpillar and the munch of the leaves. Slowly, I realized .... I was created to fly free.

Our family, our marriage, our children, we wanted it better. Now it is. We knew inside something was missing. Nothing is missing now. And you can catch the glimmer of my wings as I soar.

"What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly." - Richard Bach

Dream into Reality

A dream kept my eyes shut. Holding lids tight to dream just a minute more, hoping to never forget. Sara, the princess and my love, the prince. We met in the village, both clothed in disguise under the watchful eye of our King.

As the sun kissed my morning, I rubbed sleep from my eyes. The dream lingered, mingled into reality. I live in this dream, under the watchful eye of our King.

When I met my Ryan, I saw him for the prince he was destined to be in God’s kingdom. He saw the King’s princess in my eyes. Yet we were clothed in disguise, the rags of the world that covered our royalty.

Over the past 12 years, we have walked together on the road to His castle. Tattered rags haves been stripped away and replaced with royal garments, humility, love, compassion, and grace.

Walking the road to a new land, we found shelter in a castle provided by His hand. A time of restoration and transformation. The tattered rags of worn love thread bare from years of ministry and toil. My prince's gaze turned my heart no more. Simply look away, pretend.

Guides along our trail, met us, walked with us, tears upon their cheeks, seeing what we could be. We battled when our armor clinked in dusty squeaks. The music of romance no longer heard in the echo chamber of our life. We learned to listen again and hear His love song.

The season passed. My prince's eyes changed. I cannot explain. Love flooded over me from his heart when he looks past what I have become, only seeing the princess once again. Time, healing, dancing in his gaze once again. Beauty warped by fear vanishing in acceptance.

Trusting. Hearing the melody. Delight. My eyes changed as well. My royal dreams, with eyes opened and closed. Dreams becoming reality in the light.

Daddy's Love Song

"And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge - that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." - Ephesians 3:17-19

Today, being drenched in God's love.

His love casts away all fear, control, pride and the list goes on.

So many of my weaknesses sprout from not trusting His love.

To soak in His love poetry, over my life.

His Words mingling with mine to create a song that the enemy will never drown out.

Literally, each day, I listen to a love cd filled with words of His love over me. My precious boys ask to fall asleep to it each night as God's Word wraps their slumber in His loving embrace. I cannot keep it to myself. My life is changing. So simple, so profound, so real, so my Abba Daddy. My cd begins with The Father's Love Letter, listen with me today. Allow His words to wash you in His love. You can even download a cd quality version for free as well.

May we be drenched in His love!

My Child,

You may not know me,

but I know everything about you. Psalm 139:1

I know when you sit down and when you rise up. Psalm 139:2

I am familiar with all your ways. Psalm 139:3

Even the very hairs on your head are numbered. Matthew 10:29-31

For you were made in my image. Genesis 1:27

In me you live and move and have your being.Acts 17:28

For you are my offspring. Acts 17:28

I knew you even before you were conceived. Jeremiah 1:4-5

I chose you when I planned creation. Ephesians 1:11-12

You were not a mistake, for all your days are written in my book. Psalm 139:15-16

I determined the exact time of your birth and where you would live. Acts 17:26

You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Psalm 139:14

I knit you together in your mother's womb. Psalm 139:13

And brought you forth on the day you were born. Psalm 71:6

I have been misrepresented by those who don't know me.John 8:41-44

I am not distant and angry, but am the complete expression of love. 1 John 4:16

And it is my desire to lavish my love on you. 1 John 3:1

Simply because you are my child and I am your Father. 1 John 3:1

I offer you more than your earthly father ever could. Matthew 7:11

For I am the perfect father. Matthew 5:48

Every good gift that you receive comes from my hand. James 1:17

For I am your provider and I meet all your needs. Matthew 6:31-33

My plan for your future has always been filled with hope. Jeremiah 29:11

Because I love you with an everlasting love. Jeremiah 31:3

My thoughts toward you are countless as the sand on the seashore.Psalms 139:17-18

And I rejoice over you with singing. Zephaniah 3:17

I will never stop doing good to you. Jeremiah 32:40

For you are my treasured possession. Exodus 19:5

I desire to establish you with all my heart and all my soul. Jeremiah 32:41

And I want to show you great and marvelous things. Jeremiah 33:3

If you seek me with all your heart, you will find me. Deuteronomy 4:29

Delight in me and I will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4

For it is I who gave you those desires. Philippians 2:13

I am able to do more for you than you could possibly imagine. Ephesians 3:20

For I am your greatest encourager. 2 Thessalonians 2:16-17

I am also the Father who comforts you in all your troubles. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

When you are brokenhearted, I am close to you. Psalm 34:18

As a shepherd carries a lamb, I have carried you close to my heart. Isaiah 40:11

One day I will wipe away every tear from your eyes. Revelation 21:3-4

And I'll take away all the pain you have suffered on this earth.Revelation 21:3-4

I am your Father, and I love you even as I love my son, Jesus.John 17:23

For in Jesus, my love for you is revealed. John 17:26

He is the exact representation of my being. Hebrews 1:3

He came to demonstrate that I am for you, not against you. Romans 8:31

And to tell you that I am not counting your sins.2 Corinthians 5:18-19

Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled. 2 Corinthians 5:18-19

His death was the ultimate expression of my love for you. 1 John 4:10

I gave up everything I lovedthat I might gain your love. Romans 8:31-32

If you receive the gift of my son Jesus, you receive me. 1 John 2:23

And nothing will ever separate you from my love again.Romans 8:38-39

Come home and I'll throw the biggest party heaven has ever seen.Luke 15:7

I have always been Father, and will always be Father.Ephesians 3:14-15

My question is…Will you be my child? John 1:12-13

I am waiting for you. Luke 15:11-32

Love, Your Dad

Almighty God

On His Toes

I see His feet.

I hear the sweet music captivating me.

I long to dance with my King.

In shame, I hang my head.

I'm afraid I don't know how.

The steps, the rhythm, letting Him lead, only blurs of hope.

In majestic gentleness, He lifts my chin.

I cannot focus on His face, not yet,

His words change my life.

'Stand on my feet, my daughter, and we will dance.

I will teach you the steps as you learn to trust me.'

Holding me close, I step on nail scarred feet.

The dance begins.

With each step, more freedom, lavish love, surrendered trust.

My life's dance, standing on my King's feet.

Today, I am learning the rhythm and the song He sings over my life.

As I stand on His feet.

It doesn't matter where we are, the steps we may have forgotten or never knew.

The dance can begin today. For you sweet friends, for me. Do you have a relationship with your Creator, the intimacy, where you can hear the song of heaven? He is waiting to dance with all of us. Step by step, He is teaching me. To trust. To let Him lead. To hear the heartbeat of heaven and dance along.

Liquid Love

Content to behold just your shadow, I lived.

Breathing in toxic fumes of fear and judgement.

Veils of religion, false humility, victimization masking my heart.

Shrowded in darkness, yet created to live in your light.

Revealing the source, the lies of my enemy, I chose to embrace.

Pain lasting only a moment, erased by your lavish grace

Finally allowed access beyond walls built by slavery.

Your truth. You are truth,

Jesus erased the lies with scarred hands.

Only a crimson stain remains.

Enveloped in His love.

To breathe. Liquid love seeping into my heart, mind, soul, spirit, my me.

Peace. Freedom. Quiet. Only His voice speaking over me.

Life.

God loves me! This life changing truth seeps into my heart, my me, Sara. He loves me not because of how I can serve Him, but because of who I am. His daughter. His love covers everything in my life, setting me free from shackles and chains meant to destroy His beauty. His love, the power behind my faith. His love, contained in every syllable He spoke through His Word. His love, I'm splashing in it, drenching my spirit, heart, and mind in the Truth of His love. Anyone care to jump in and splash with me?

Finding My Voice

Praise the Lord! Praise the Lord, O my soul!

While I live I will praise the Lord; I will sing praises to my God while I have my being. The Lord opens the eyes of the blind; The Lord raises those who are bowed down. The Lord loves the righteous.

(Psalm 146 ...)

Chains broken. Freedom. Learning to soar. Learning to live

A quiet season in my life.

Intense, difficult, painful, beautiful, freeing, transforming.

Dark bubbles coming to the surface.

Desperation. Healing. Freedom.

In my silence here, God is strengthening me.

Strengthening me to find my true voice.

And I am learning to truly hear His.

No More Leaves

Just like Eve, I have worn a wardrobe of leaves. Sewn stitch by stitch to cover my shame and nakedness. I'm tired of the itchy leaves. I'm exhausted from having to make flimsy covering, constantly hiding.

Leaves, walls I've built to protect myself. Covering myself with things I can do. A leaf to cover the inadequacy I feel in my heart. Works, a flimsy leaf. A leaf of religion, doing, saying, being the right things to cover my fear of true intimacy with the Lord. Leaves of control, everywhere, filling my crude garment. If I can control, everything will be safe. My deepest fears will never surface. I will never have to completely trust in a living God.

This garment of leaves fails me. I renounce it today. Surrendering my shabby garment to His hands. No longer hiding behind the leaves of false covering to separate myself and hide my nakedness. A robe of righteousness dripped in crimson blood awaits me. How could I possibly choose the leaves I have sewn with shaking hands over the garment He stitched for me with scarred ones?

In all honesty, I don't know what it will feel like to be uncovered and truly transparent before my King. No longer hiding. Wrapped in His unfailing love and nothing else. Excitement, a twinge of fear, uncertainty. Yet on this journey to truly knowing Him, He has never turned His back or let me slip from His hands. He has only held me, Sarah Dawn. Finally, just me.

My Choice

"The man said, "The woman you put here with me - she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it." Then the Lord God said to the woman, "What is this you have done?" The woman said, "The serpent deceived me, and I ate." - Genesis 3:12-13

But ... the serpent tricked me ... the woman you gave me, made me eat it ...

Blame, point fingers, shift accountability, hits too close to home.

A protection mechanism to keep all the junk right where it is.

Eve blamed the serpent. I hear her words wrapped in my phrases of the past.

Adam blamed another who only tempted him to sin. Clearly the haze lifts and I see the countless times I have done the same.

Bold, brash, fighting the light of truth shining on his life, Adam blames God. "You gave me this woman to me." Imagine casting blame on pure perfection. My chuckle turns to revelation. I too have walked in the same sin. God, you allowed this situation in my life. You created me this way ... and the audacity of my selfishness surfaces.

Asking my Jesus to take me deeper, He has. Just like Eve. Just like Adam. My choice to believe the lies of the enemy. My choice.

No longer hiding behind the shrouds of blame and distorted truth. It was my choice. Surrendering, Jesus can come to forgive.

Uncovering the lies from the darkness of blame. It was my choice.

I can rest in the truth my Jesus speaks over me

The truth will set me free.

I am learning on this precious road to intimacy with my Abba. Learning that the lies the enemy has whispered and shouted over my life. Denial. Blame. Distorted Truth. Kept me from seeing my choice in the matter. I chose to believe the lies. I chose to believe the enemy's words over the Living Word. I am washed with His lavish forgiveness. I am soaking in His Word, continually, pouring it over my mind, my spirit, my soul. Allowing His truth to penetrate all that I am. It is my sword. His Word destroys the enemy with just a syllable.

Reasoning to Death

Daughter of Eve, my footsteps trace hers.

Countless times, my mind, reasoning betrays

In the shadow of the garden an enemy lurks

Twisting truth. I reason. Add my thoughts to promises

Stepping into the same trap.

Doubting God's Word over my life. Simple directions.

Daughter of Eve, I question His goodness.

Will He always take care of me?

Reasoning enters. Doubt festers.

My soul inches toward the snare.

Why even listen to the snake?

Wisdom says smack him upside the head and silence the brute.

Reason says listen to what he offers.

How many times have I chosen reason only to ensnare myself?

Reason alone fails me.

Reason without trust in Jesus brings death.

Eve reasoned that God must be holding out.

She reasoned without trust. death.

Daughter of Eve, my footsteps trace hers.

Reasoning without trust brought death to my life.

This is where my path follows another.

Reasoning failed me. I will put my trust only in Jesus.

A new path. A new season.

Seeing my footsteps of the past.

Redeemed from the curse. Forgiven.

No longer a daughter of Eve.

Daughter of the King, Sarah Dawn.

My footsteps begin to trace His.

In this beautiful journey to intimacy, I am learning. My eyes wide open. Maybe for the first time. My life saved from hell, yet my steps continued to walk towards death. There is more. A deep joy welling from inside of me. I have just begun. There is more to knowing Jesus. Complete abandon. Surrender. A deeper trust that takes my breath away with expectation. To continue on this path, I had to let Jesus go deeper in me, revealing the walls I built to keep Him from all of my heart. Dare to dream there is more. Dare to believe that this life can take your breath away. Dare to ask your Jesus to remove all hindrances to a deeper relationship with Him. Dare to trust that He will.

For a time, as I journey on this road, this pool will be a quiet reflective place. Come. Soak. Splash along with me as we wade into deeper waters.

Tapestry

A friend of mine has a uniquely designed tapestry hugging her floors. Created just for her family, the intricate pattern weaves their initials. Embracing their home, wrapping the floor with the warmth of love, a reminder of the intricate pattern of our lives.

My life, me, Sarah Dawn, on the loom. Rejoicing that my Jesus' skillful hands weave the threads and colors in my life. Well, He desires to weave them. He longs to weave them. But is He? At times, I have taken over ... adding colors and patterns I thought made a "pretty" design.

As I journey on this path to deeper intimacy with Him, the master weaver is having to undo some of my "pretty" work. Ripping, cutting, that His design can be completed. Learning to trust and rest on the loom. In one word, surrender.

Surrender to His pattern for my life. Surrender to His skillful hands. Surrender when I can only see bits and pieces of string. Surrender when I don't know the finished design. Surrender, that His initials will be woven throughout.

For a time, as I journey on this road, this pool will be a quiet reflective place. Come. Soak. Splash along with me as we wade into deeper waters.

Thirsty

"But whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life." - John 4:14

I am on a journey. A journey into deeper intimacy with my Lord. Circumcision of heart. Humbled by His hand. I see the need. To be washed in His love, drenched.

Laying aside times of ministry. Focussing on resting in Him. Just us. Gentle worship. Soaking in the Word. Feeding my soul the nourishment it lacks. Filling my mind with His promises of truth. A journey.

Reading with my children, C.S. Lewis speaks to my heart

"Are you not thirsty?" said the Lion.

"I'm dying of thirst" said Jill.

"Then drink," said the Lion

"May I-could I-would you mind going away while I do? said Jill.

How often in the past have I sought to quench my thirst, on my own, away from His presence? In my own strength, conquering the foe on my own behalf. Did I ever really win? No, only survived the attack. Submerging the real issue down deeper until it surfaces later again in my life.

"I daren't come and drink," said Jill.

Then you will die of thirst," said the Lion.

"Oh dear!" said Jill, coming another step nearer.

I suppose I must go and look for another stream then.

"There is no other stream," said the Lion

Revealed in His love, my pride. I can do this on my own, I can fight this again. Pray harder, develop more self-control, discipline it out of me. Looking for another stream.

Only His stream will quench my thirst. Only His waters will wash away the scars of the past that taint my life. His love. His healing.

Soaking in His songs of love over me. Gently reading the gospels over and over, aloud that they may penetrate my heart and not just linger in my mind. Declaring His promises as a part of my daily bread, feeding His nourishment to my soul. Simple things to come to His waters and allow Him to quench my thirst, and saturate me with His love.

friends, your comments, precious to me. Yet as I journey on this road, I want to train my ears to His Word and His voice alone speaking over me. For a time, this pool will be a quiet reflective place, to come, soak, follow along with me as we wade into deeper waters.

Deep Water

"Put out into deep water." - Luke 5;4

Just as your disciples, you ask me to go deeper.

Deeper into who you are.

Who I am as I gaze at the reflection.

To go deeper, into your truth, I must let go of the shore.

Hugging it. Clutching it. Clinging with sand under my nails.

No longer content to stay on the beach, splashing in waves like a child.

Holy Spirit, guide me.

Take my hand and gently lead.

Teach me to search the deep.

Today, I cut the ties holding me to the shore.

Saturate me today in your deep waters.

Open my eyes that I may see your truths clearly.

No longer murky depths distorting my view.

I am on a beautiful, piercing, humbling, breathtaking journey to intimacy.

In the middle of the deep.

Just me and my Lord, teaching me to walk on the waves.

Wherever we are in our journey, there is more. Never settle. A deeper level of intimacy with the living God awaits me. A deeper level awaits you. Plunge deeper. Soak in only Him. Drip by drip no more, may His love simply saturate.

Humbled

Knocked to my knees

Weeping for the intimacy I dream

Living in my own strength.

No longer desperate for yours.

A heart closed where communion once reigned.

The confessions of my heart spilling in a Holy Presence.

I have grieved you.

Pulling away into myself.

I long to feel your presence. Raw. Real.

My heart chained from the pain of the past.

Sin of the past.

Choice of the past.

Link by link, pulling me from you.

Bits, broken pieces, all that I have.

Aching, yearning, to be captivated in your love.

A holy, jealous fire consuming me.

Joy mingled with tears of sorrow.

Of what is to come and what has been.

I repent.

I bring a ripped heart, open to you.

Blur the line of where I begin and you end.

To breathe you.

No longer desiring anything else.

Passionate pursuit,

Matching the intensity you seek after me.

Combusting into a pure refining fire when our passions collide.

You promise you will come.

Teach me to cling with all only to you.

I cry out from the depth I have yet to completely fathom.

Break me. Mold me. Shape me.

Choosing, I step into the flames.

Consume me.

All that I am with all that you are and all you desire me to be.

Stay on my knees.

Shine your light on the darkness hidden

The spiritual cancers, the pride, the need for control.

You expose to cleanse.

The fire burns.

With an intensity that matches your love for me.

Humility ushers in a new era in my life.

A journey into a realm unexplored.

There is more.

An intimacy with the living God.

I have beheld your shadow.

May I live to see you face to face.