Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Humbled


Knocked to my knees
Weeping for the intimacy I dream
Living in my own strength.
No longer desperate for yours.

A heart closed where communion once reigned.
The confessions of my heart spilling in a Holy Presence.

I have grieved you.
Pulling away into myself.

I long to feel your presence. Raw. Real.
My heart chained from the pain of the past.
Sin of the past.
Choice of the past.
Link by link, pulling me from you.

Bits, broken pieces, all that I have.
Aching, yearning, to be captivated in your love.
A holy, jealous fire consuming me.

Joy mingled with tears of sorrow.
Of what is to come and what has been.
I repent.
I bring a ripped heart, open to you.

Blur the line of where I begin and you end.

To breathe you.
No longer desiring anything else.
Passionate pursuit,
Matching the intensity you seek after me.
Combusting into a pure refining fire when our passions collide.

You promise you will come.
Teach me to cling with all only to you.
I cry out from the depth I have yet to completely fathom.

Break me. Mold me. Shape me.

Choosing, I step into the flames.
Consume me.
All that I am with all that you are and all you desire me to be.

Stay on my knees.
Shine your light on the darkness hidden
The spiritual cancers, the pride, the need for control.

You expose to cleanse.
The fire burns.
With an intensity that matches your love for me.

Humility ushers in a new era in my life.

A journey into a realm unexplored.
There is more.
An intimacy with the living God.

I have beheld your shadow.
May I live to see you face to face.
image signature



holy experience

21 comments:

Mom to 9 Blessings! said...

Precious friend - how I pray these words meet with every aching heart that needs the truth!

He will meet everyone of us in the quiet moments. He is there! He longs to be with us and is so eager to welcome us for the first time and back every time we slip away. He is beyond faithful and merciful! His grace covers us and His love washes a multitude of sins away.

In the deepest moments when we can no longer see between Him and us - His Spirit takes over and we become one! I too long to be there more and more each day.

Quiet, Still, Listening, Longing, to hear only YOU OH LORD!

Lots of hugs and much love,
Jill
PS Is it February yet? :)

Debbie said...

Broken is the place we need to be. Humbled before Him. That is what I'm all too slowly learning Sarah Dawn.

How well you write words that echol my own heart. My heart has been broken too many times and as a result I've covered it in layers of self protection. But as I shared with you, the Lord is slowly peeling them away. It's hard but He is trustworthy with our hearts. I know that and am learning that.

Love to you,
Debbie

PS I echo Jill, is it February yet?

Sassy Granny ... said...

"I have beheld your shadow". Powerful!

RCUBEs said...

A broken spirit and repentant heart...is what I desire to have...every day....So He can transform me into what He wants me to be. I feel your pain from your words...because I grieve Him too, time and time again...Lead us Lord...Teach us Your ways...

Lindsey @ A New Life said...

I love your writing and how you seek God in all you do and say. These desperate and loving pleas we make to God do not go unanswered. I am resting in that right now.

Thank you for the sweet encouragement today!

Blessings,
Lindsey

Andrea said...

wow... amen and thank you

He & Me + 3 said...

BEautiful...broken at His feet.
Hugs,
Mimi

Sue said...

That was beautiful Sarah Dawn. Thanks for sharing that with us!

Ike said...

Question: What is repentance unto life?

Answer: Repentance unto life is a saving grace, whereby a sinner, out of a true sense of his sin and apprehension of the mercy of God in Christ, doth, with grief and hatred of his sin, turn from it unto God, with full purpose of and endeavor after new obedience.

So says the Westminster Shorter Catechism.

"A saving grace." God alone can awaken repentance. That's how sleepy our consciences are. We need the smelling salts of the gospel waved under our noses to wake us up. Most of the sins we commit we don't notice. We might even feel good about them at the time.

"Out of a true sense of his sin . . . with grief and hatred of his sin." Not just embarrassment over getting caught but sorrow over offending the Father. Self-assurance dissolves into self-hatred. A new thought enters in: "I hate my heart."

"Apprehension of the mercy of God in Christ." If we suspect that God despises us for our sins, we will have no incentive to turn back to him. It is the kindness of God that leads us to repentance. The Father rejoices to honor his prodigals. This truth sets us free to repent.

"Turn from it unto God." We don't make ourselves better first. We just turn, we turn back to God, spattered with our filth. It is God himself to whom the penitent go. Not to deeper self-fixation but to the all-merciful Father God. We fall into his arms.

"With full purpose of and endeavor after new obedience." Not "Oh, I'm so broken," with no follow-through, no change. "Brokenness" can be an excuse for inaction. True repentance gets traction for "new obedience," unprecedented obedience, bold new steps in obeying the Bible we've never taken before, such that our family and friends start wondering, "What's gotten into him?"

Leah said...

Blur the line of where I begin and you end.

this is so my prayer. so very much.

Blessings to you and yours.

Leah

Karen said...

Beautiful prayer...the last verse took my breath away...

Jennifer @ Getting Down With Jesus said...

My, my, my ... What a beautiful piece.

Here's a God-Thing for you: I have been putting together worship Power Points for a spiritual retreat coming up, and I took a break just now to check out a few blogs. The Power Point for the song I'm working on right now??? Refiner's Fire.

Now is God's timing amazing or what?

Thank you for sharing your gifts with us. You're a beautiful soul.

Linda said...

You have given words to my heart cry Sarah. I used those very words - passionate pursuit - just yesterday.
"Blur the line of where I begin and you end." That captures the yearning of my heart perfectly.

Thank you Sarah.

Alison said...

Reminds me of the hymn "Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing" :)

Denise said...

Bless you for these powerful words sweetie.

christy rose said...

Beautiful! That is all that I can get out!

Joye @ The Joyeful Journey said...

His heart beat is in these words, sweet sister! Charged with the Holy Spirit! Overflowing with unrestrained desire for the King of Kings! Powerful!

Mich said...

Beautiful...

Monica Sharman said...

Thank you so much for this. I so want the humility of Christ. He must increase; I must decrease...

David and Sarah said...

Sarah Dawn,

I've been trying to get a chance to comment for the past few days, and just now have a moment...

The Lord has been speaking to me about humility (or my lack thereof) for the past few weeks. I have been reading Humility, by Andrew Murray (as a result of the leading of God) and have been encouraged by these words:

"Believer, study the humility of Jesus! This is the secret, the hidden root of thy redemption. Sink down deeper into it every day. Believe with thy whole heart that this Christ, whom God has given thee, even as His divine humility wrought the work for thee, will enter in to dwell and work within thee too, and make thee what the Father would have thee be."

Oh, that He would work in all of His children, a desire for and a heart full of humility.

Many blessings to you, sweet sister.
Sarah

Deb said...

Amazing.

How your words.

Always.

Reveal my what's in my heart.

Sweet dreams.