My Choice

"The man said, "The woman you put here with me - she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it." Then the Lord God said to the woman, "What is this you have done?" The woman said, "The serpent deceived me, and I ate." - Genesis 3:12-13

But ... the serpent tricked me ... the woman you gave me, made me eat it ...

Blame, point fingers, shift accountability, hits too close to home.

A protection mechanism to keep all the junk right where it is.

Eve blamed the serpent. I hear her words wrapped in my phrases of the past.

Adam blamed another who only tempted him to sin. Clearly the haze lifts and I see the countless times I have done the same.

Bold, brash, fighting the light of truth shining on his life, Adam blames God. "You gave me this woman to me." Imagine casting blame on pure perfection. My chuckle turns to revelation. I too have walked in the same sin. God, you allowed this situation in my life. You created me this way ... and the audacity of my selfishness surfaces.

Asking my Jesus to take me deeper, He has. Just like Eve. Just like Adam. My choice to believe the lies of the enemy. My choice.

No longer hiding behind the shrouds of blame and distorted truth. It was my choice. Surrendering, Jesus can come to forgive.

Uncovering the lies from the darkness of blame. It was my choice.

I can rest in the truth my Jesus speaks over me

The truth will set me free.

I am learning on this precious road to intimacy with my Abba. Learning that the lies the enemy has whispered and shouted over my life. Denial. Blame. Distorted Truth. Kept me from seeing my choice in the matter. I chose to believe the lies. I chose to believe the enemy's words over the Living Word. I am washed with His lavish forgiveness. I am soaking in His Word, continually, pouring it over my mind, my spirit, my soul. Allowing His truth to penetrate all that I am. It is my sword. His Word destroys the enemy with just a syllable.

Reasoning to Death

Daughter of Eve, my footsteps trace hers.

Countless times, my mind, reasoning betrays

In the shadow of the garden an enemy lurks

Twisting truth. I reason. Add my thoughts to promises

Stepping into the same trap.

Doubting God's Word over my life. Simple directions.

Daughter of Eve, I question His goodness.

Will He always take care of me?

Reasoning enters. Doubt festers.

My soul inches toward the snare.

Why even listen to the snake?

Wisdom says smack him upside the head and silence the brute.

Reason says listen to what he offers.

How many times have I chosen reason only to ensnare myself?

Reason alone fails me.

Reason without trust in Jesus brings death.

Eve reasoned that God must be holding out.

She reasoned without trust. death.

Daughter of Eve, my footsteps trace hers.

Reasoning without trust brought death to my life.

This is where my path follows another.

Reasoning failed me. I will put my trust only in Jesus.

A new path. A new season.

Seeing my footsteps of the past.

Redeemed from the curse. Forgiven.

No longer a daughter of Eve.

Daughter of the King, Sarah Dawn.

My footsteps begin to trace His.

In this beautiful journey to intimacy, I am learning. My eyes wide open. Maybe for the first time. My life saved from hell, yet my steps continued to walk towards death. There is more. A deep joy welling from inside of me. I have just begun. There is more to knowing Jesus. Complete abandon. Surrender. A deeper trust that takes my breath away with expectation. To continue on this path, I had to let Jesus go deeper in me, revealing the walls I built to keep Him from all of my heart. Dare to dream there is more. Dare to believe that this life can take your breath away. Dare to ask your Jesus to remove all hindrances to a deeper relationship with Him. Dare to trust that He will.

For a time, as I journey on this road, this pool will be a quiet reflective place. Come. Soak. Splash along with me as we wade into deeper waters.

Lil' Splash

I know ... I've been swimming in some deep waters these past few weeks. So today, just wanted to splash you from the kiddie pool. I truly am being transformed, and loving every minute of it.

Tapestry

A friend of mine has a uniquely designed tapestry hugging her floors. Created just for her family, the intricate pattern weaves their initials. Embracing their home, wrapping the floor with the warmth of love, a reminder of the intricate pattern of our lives.

My life, me, Sarah Dawn, on the loom. Rejoicing that my Jesus' skillful hands weave the threads and colors in my life. Well, He desires to weave them. He longs to weave them. But is He? At times, I have taken over ... adding colors and patterns I thought made a "pretty" design.

As I journey on this path to deeper intimacy with Him, the master weaver is having to undo some of my "pretty" work. Ripping, cutting, that His design can be completed. Learning to trust and rest on the loom. In one word, surrender.

Surrender to His pattern for my life. Surrender to His skillful hands. Surrender when I can only see bits and pieces of string. Surrender when I don't know the finished design. Surrender, that His initials will be woven throughout.

For a time, as I journey on this road, this pool will be a quiet reflective place. Come. Soak. Splash along with me as we wade into deeper waters.

Thirsty

"But whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life." - John 4:14

I am on a journey. A journey into deeper intimacy with my Lord. Circumcision of heart. Humbled by His hand. I see the need. To be washed in His love, drenched.

Laying aside times of ministry. Focussing on resting in Him. Just us. Gentle worship. Soaking in the Word. Feeding my soul the nourishment it lacks. Filling my mind with His promises of truth. A journey.

Reading with my children, C.S. Lewis speaks to my heart

"Are you not thirsty?" said the Lion.

"I'm dying of thirst" said Jill.

"Then drink," said the Lion

"May I-could I-would you mind going away while I do? said Jill.

How often in the past have I sought to quench my thirst, on my own, away from His presence? In my own strength, conquering the foe on my own behalf. Did I ever really win? No, only survived the attack. Submerging the real issue down deeper until it surfaces later again in my life.

"I daren't come and drink," said Jill.

Then you will die of thirst," said the Lion.

"Oh dear!" said Jill, coming another step nearer.

I suppose I must go and look for another stream then.

"There is no other stream," said the Lion

Revealed in His love, my pride. I can do this on my own, I can fight this again. Pray harder, develop more self-control, discipline it out of me. Looking for another stream.

Only His stream will quench my thirst. Only His waters will wash away the scars of the past that taint my life. His love. His healing.

Soaking in His songs of love over me. Gently reading the gospels over and over, aloud that they may penetrate my heart and not just linger in my mind. Declaring His promises as a part of my daily bread, feeding His nourishment to my soul. Simple things to come to His waters and allow Him to quench my thirst, and saturate me with His love.

friends, your comments, precious to me. Yet as I journey on this road, I want to train my ears to His Word and His voice alone speaking over me. For a time, this pool will be a quiet reflective place, to come, soak, follow along with me as we wade into deeper waters.

Pray

My favorite post, today. My heart's desire, to partner with you in prayer. Would you join me today, battling on our knees in prayer?

Leave a prayer request as we storm the gates of hell together, warring side by side. Jesus has given us the ultimate victory, let's walk in that victory today as we battle for one another.

Thai Smiles

"Give thanks to the Lord, call on His name; make known among the nations what he has done, and proclaim that His name is exalted." - Isaiah 12:4

5 days after the Tsunami ravished the country, we boarded a plane. To be His hands and feet. To proclaim what the Lord had done in our lives. The Lord moved mountains and provided miraculously for our team, providing a way for us to share the hope of Christ with those who had never heard.

8 adults, 5 children, a group of believers learning to live our faith out loud. We shared Jesus through relationships. Taught at local churches. Discipled young believers. Ministered God's love at orphanages. Interceded at Budhist temples. Baptized in the river. Shined on tuk-tuk's and sungtels sharing the life we have in Christ. So much more.

At night, tucking my 2 year old into his piece of foam on the floor he whispered sweetness. "Mommy, I like serving with Jesus." And it was just the beginning. Serving with Jesus, a way of life for all His children.