Friday, July 26, 2013
Lil princess came into our home, she turned it right side up. Filling it full with pink giggles and slobbery raspberries.
Despite the utter cuteness, we realized straight real, we had a road ahead of us. Lil sweet pea had yet to attach to a caregiver. So crazy thankful for those who have walked the road of foster or adoption before us and paved the way.
This momma, an admitted snuggle a holic, determined to help this precious bond to bless her life for always. In our first short weeks, we have learned some simple steps to encourage bonding and are amazed at the results.
1. Learn the signals. Become a student of your child, no matter the age. When are they hungry? When do they need to sleep? What makes them grumpy? Watch for the signals. Learn them. Then respond ALWAYS. This builds their trust in you, a vital block in the foundation of attachment. (and throw out whatever anyone told you about your precious, learn for yourself as they might have missed the real cues)
2. Snuggle Baths. Skin to skin. It's vital in bonding. Having an older princess we got a bit creative. One bath time, I slipped my swimsuit and jumped in. Momma baths, the new norm. LIl fish splashes and plays. I snuggle, rub, and touch. Bonus - seeing her cute chunky thighs makes me feel a bit better about mine.
3. Baby Talk Back. She coos. She giggles. She string syllables together. And now so do I. With each babble, momma babbles back. The whole family has gotten in on the action. We have had entire conversations based solely on raspberries and dadadadadadada. We are engaging in her world, bonding on her level.
4. Blue Eye Time. I've fallen in love with her baby blues and its a blessing. Eye contact remains a key in bonding. Every chance I can, changing her diaper, feeding a bottle, picking her up from her nap ... I connect eye to eye. I make it a point to intentionally look into her baby blues and smile. At first, she gave me no eye contact back. Little by little she is connecting. Thinking there must be a link straight from the eye to the heart.
5. Rub. Tickle. Scratch. We all know touch is crucial to bonding. But what touch does sweet princess enjoy the most. Discover it. Does your little one like to be massaged? Or does she prefer a light tickle on her skin? My 8 year old son drools when I scratch his head. Each child is different and might not be the same as you. So, take the time to figure out what type of touch they like best. (and of course give them tons)
We have just begun our journey to help this precious princess attach. You would crazy bless me (and her) to share your tips, your ideas, your what worked with you. Would you take a moment to share with us something that helped you bond with the children in your life?