This week, I stumbled on the path. The turning point. Decision time.
Total raw, realness. I picked up pieces. A precious pink princess crumbling a bit. A 4 year old dealing with the past. A past she never created. Her sweetness having to carry things little ones should never carry.
I admit it. I got angry. Angry at the parents who didn't know how to love. My emotions bubbled over. Would I be able to love them? To really love? I have always wanted to hug them when we meet, today I felt like slapping instead. Tough day.
Fuming in my own frustration, I crumpled. Then I realized, who do we really fight? And the reason I write my lessons learned in this pool of grace surfaced. My last post, remember Sarah, remember.
The parents, look past them. I too have been forgiven much and drenched in lavish grace. Step into the right battle. Jesus knew how to fight, who to fight, making sure to always slap the real enemy.
My response, I scooped up 'lil joy'. We snuggled up on the comfy couch, cuddled up in cozy warm. I pushed aside the struggle. I loved.
Within a few minutes, all wrapped up, she fell asleep. I could only hold her closer. Momma Sarah, all wrapped up, I dozed as well. We both woke up smiling. I had hugged. I had slapped. Slapped the enemy, with a mighty weapon. Love.
9 comments:
Dear Sarah- your posts always make me smile. I am so glad that you are there to love and bless all these children!
Oh my dear, sweet, wonderful friend...
"A past that she didn't create..." Those words break my heart. I thank Jesus that you are there now to hold and love her. Bless you!
And yes, you're right. Jesus did know who needed to be slapped and who needed to be hugged. We all need that discernment.
I don't know the situation, but people sometimes can't love the way we want them to love or need them to love which is why Christ is so important. The love waiting for us there can fill the vaccume size hole in our souls that crave what we lacked.
You bless my heart.
I left a comment, but it seems to have disappeared. Writing a new one here.
The painful past is brought up to the surface so it can be flushed out of your system. I can imagine, it's not easy to be mom to someone you did not give birth to.
Wishing you a new year that's filled with beauty and hope.
Love
Lidia
Love is a mighty thing, and your post is lovely. Blessings to you, Sara!
I am an adoptive parent and former foster parent. I know from experience what you are doing is not easy. But loving the children is so necessary. May God bless you each and every day.
Hi Sarah!
Funny thing - I was looking back at some of my old posts from 2010 because my blog is my diary and my journal, and when the days are hard, it's where I look back to be reminded of God's faithfulness and provision.
There, I stumbled upon a post on which you had commented. I was going to say I'm not sure how I missed your comment, but actually now that I've "splashed" around here, I can surely see why.
You and I have more in common than just home schooling. You see, in 2010 God planted a seed in my heart and in my husband's. That seed has blossomed into a desire to adopt. By the next year He had directed us into the path of foster care. But I didn't fare so well with our first placement... I think He knew that I needed encouragement, so perhaps that's why I'm finding your blog now, at this appointed time.
It never ceases to amaze me how God orchestrates things and works out every little detail, right down to my finding your comment almost 2 years later!
I will certainly be a regular around here!
Many blessings to you!
Heavens to Betsy, what a sweet post. What a sweet blog! I'm so happy is tumbled upon it- I had to go ack and read a bunch of your previous posts. Um, you're a saint Friend! God bless!
~Julie www.faceinthebible.blogspot.com
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