No More Leaves

Just like Eve, I have worn a wardrobe of leaves. Sewn stitch by stitch to cover my shame and nakedness. I'm tired of the itchy leaves. I'm exhausted from having to make flimsy covering, constantly hiding.

Leaves, walls I've built to protect myself. Covering myself with things I can do. A leaf to cover the inadequacy I feel in my heart. Works, a flimsy leaf. A leaf of religion, doing, saying, being the right things to cover my fear of true intimacy with the Lord. Leaves of control, everywhere, filling my crude garment. If I can control, everything will be safe. My deepest fears will never surface. I will never have to completely trust in a living God.

This garment of leaves fails me. I renounce it today. Surrendering my shabby garment to His hands. No longer hiding behind the leaves of false covering to separate myself and hide my nakedness. A robe of righteousness dripped in crimson blood awaits me. How could I possibly choose the leaves I have sewn with shaking hands over the garment He stitched for me with scarred ones?

In all honesty, I don't know what it will feel like to be uncovered and truly transparent before my King. No longer hiding. Wrapped in His unfailing love and nothing else. Excitement, a twinge of fear, uncertainty. Yet on this journey to truly knowing Him, He has never turned His back or let me slip from His hands. He has only held me, Sarah Dawn. Finally, just me.

My Choice

"The man said, "The woman you put here with me - she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it." Then the Lord God said to the woman, "What is this you have done?" The woman said, "The serpent deceived me, and I ate." - Genesis 3:12-13

But ... the serpent tricked me ... the woman you gave me, made me eat it ...

Blame, point fingers, shift accountability, hits too close to home.

A protection mechanism to keep all the junk right where it is.

Eve blamed the serpent. I hear her words wrapped in my phrases of the past.

Adam blamed another who only tempted him to sin. Clearly the haze lifts and I see the countless times I have done the same.

Bold, brash, fighting the light of truth shining on his life, Adam blames God. "You gave me this woman to me." Imagine casting blame on pure perfection. My chuckle turns to revelation. I too have walked in the same sin. God, you allowed this situation in my life. You created me this way ... and the audacity of my selfishness surfaces.

Asking my Jesus to take me deeper, He has. Just like Eve. Just like Adam. My choice to believe the lies of the enemy. My choice.

No longer hiding behind the shrouds of blame and distorted truth. It was my choice. Surrendering, Jesus can come to forgive.

Uncovering the lies from the darkness of blame. It was my choice.

I can rest in the truth my Jesus speaks over me

The truth will set me free.

I am learning on this precious road to intimacy with my Abba. Learning that the lies the enemy has whispered and shouted over my life. Denial. Blame. Distorted Truth. Kept me from seeing my choice in the matter. I chose to believe the lies. I chose to believe the enemy's words over the Living Word. I am washed with His lavish forgiveness. I am soaking in His Word, continually, pouring it over my mind, my spirit, my soul. Allowing His truth to penetrate all that I am. It is my sword. His Word destroys the enemy with just a syllable.